Encourage young people to do hard things, and fail.
Young people need real problems to solve. They should be challenged in sports or life and we should be teaching them to deal with failure.
Understanding leadership
The more recent work on leadership has fundamentally changed how we view leadership. Some themes have been elucidated in a W. C. H. Prentices article in 1961 which criticized leadership. Prentice defined leadership as “the achievement of a goal through the direct involvement of a human assistant” and a successful leader is someone able to understand a person's motivations and engage employee participation. Now ask yourself how are we creating young leaders in today's education system?
Leaders are not born; leaders are forged from challenges. Leadership can be taught and like any other human skill. The process of becoming an effective leader or coach can be achieved by any person willing to develop leadership characteristics are developed over time. These leadership skills like, organization, coaching, mentoring and teaching come through personal growth and self-work.
There are all sorts of benefits that come from pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. For one, it helps you learn and grow as a person. You learn more about what you're capable of, and you develop new skills. In school we pad the corners and make sure everyone feels included. While some need that most young people feel disconnected from the real world
Why you should encourage your child to be a leader
Everyone should strive to be a leader. leadership is not a rank, it's an approach to life. leadership is about taking responsibility for your own life and the lives of a team or business. Leadership is about making things happen in the world and teaching others how to achieve more. Here are some reasons you should encourage your young person to develop leadership skills:
Leaders can take charge and get things done
Leaders are typically more financially independent than team contributors
Leaders inspire others by coaching and training personal growth
Leaders have a vision for the future and a path to achieving it
Leaders can make tough decisions
Leaders are effective communicators
Leaders are good role models and coaches
Leaders are lifelong learners or skill and theory
Leaders are confident free thinkers and can build good psychological process
Leaders are competent and do research on professional and personal performance
The best way to encourage leadership in your child is to be a leader yourself. Show them by example what it means to take responsibility for your own life and the lives of others. Encourage their natural curiosity and creativity, and help them to see the world around them as an opportunity to make things happen.
Leaders are not born; leaders are forged from challenges. Leadership can be taught and like any other human skill. The process of becoming an effective leader or coach can be achieved by any person willing to develop leadership characteristics are developed over time. These leadership skills like, organization, coaching, mentoring and teaching come through personal growth and self-work.
Coaching Young Leaders
Leadership is about learning and failing. Leaders that dwell on the mistakes of the past struggle with achieving success in business or in life. Mistakes are a necessity. We want young leaders to learn from their mistakes. In the future, leadership will require more knowledge garnered from past failures to build an example of what will work tomorrow. Our leasers will need to develop the theory of learning from past research to find differences relevant to today.
It's often said that the only way to learn something is to do it. That's especially true when it comes to hard things. When you're faced with a challenge, and you push through it, you learn more about yourself and what you're capable of. You also build resilience, which is key for success in any field.
Encouraging your young person to do hard things, and supporting them as they do, is one of the best things you can do for their future success. It will help them develop leadership skills, learn from their mistakes, and build resilience. So don't hesitate to challenge them. They might surprise you (and themselves) with what they achieve.
Teaching and coaching your child to do hard things will help them develop leadership skills, learn more about themselves, and build resilience, learn the power of leadership and how to build key skills need to lead or manage a team in any organization. All of these things will be invaluable to them in their future endeavors. So don't hesitate to encourage them to step outside their comfort zone and tackle a challenge. It just might be the best thing you ever do.
"The best things in life are on the other side of fear."
There are many benefits to doing hard things. For one, it helps you learn and grow as a person. You learn more about what you're capable of, and you develop new skills. Sadly only a few people will ever learn what they are truly capable of because they never push past the point where things get uncomfortable. But if you're willing to push through personal discomfort, you'll be amazed at what you can achieve.
Teach them about service
Humans are designed to serve. The sooner a young person feels the satisfaction of service the better.
Besides learning and growth, doing hard things also builds resilience. Resilience is key for not just for leaders, but for anyone, with or without influence. Understanding the skills used by an effective leader can help in business or personal success. When you're able to push through difficult challenges, you build the knowledge and skill that makes you stronger and better prepared for whatever life throws in their path.
Help them find a passion
If you're not passionate about something, it's going to be tough to achieve greatness. You have to be willing to put in the hard workday in and day out. That's why it's important to encourage your young person to find something they're passionate about, and then challenge them to go after it with everything they've got. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it.
Of course, not every young person is going to be passionate about something; and that's okay. Not everyone is cut out for leadership or entrepreneurship. But that doesn't mean they can't still do hard things and learn valuable lessons from it.
You can still encourage your young person to do hard things, even if they're not passionate about it. It will be good for them, and it will teach them valuable lessons that they can use later in life. So don't give up on them just because they're not passionate about something. Challenge them to do hard things, and you might be surprised at what they're capable of. Encourage them to take risks or create something new. Leadership doesn't require a or team to follow you. Self leadership is an invaluable skills that needs mentoring and coaching to develop too.
What are some of the things you're passionate about? What makes you want to get up and work hard everyday? These are the things you should be encouraging your young person to pursue. Help them find their passion, and then challenge them to do great things with it. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do." - Steve Jobs
When you teach them about passion, be careful not to glamorize work, it's still work. It's better to mentor them into a health relationship with struggle. People who achieve great things don't do so because they love the work, they do it despite the difficulty. It's the passion that drives them to continue putting in the hard workday after day.
Make sure they know that achieving success and individual freedom still requires discipline and self-control. You still have to focus on obtaining knowledge in order to create successful outcomes. If they think everyday is going to be great full of free time and individual focus they will burnout.
Passion is important, but it's not the only thing you need. You also need to have a willingness to put in the hard workday in and day out. Discipline and self-control are essential if you want to be successful. So make sure your young person knows that even though passion is important, it's not the only thing they need to achieve their goals. Encourage them to persevere because the reward of success does not come from luck or from passion alone.
"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have." - Thomas Jefferson
Make sure they know that work, regardless of the business, group or the team, is still work. Not everyday is going to be fun. Not everyday in leadership or coaching is a home run, sometimes you're just trying for a base hit.
What if my kid is lazy and unmotivated?
First ask yourself if they are learning that from you.
Parents and family are our first coaches. They create, or don't, our knowledge of leadership and leadership skill be example. Many of us lacked the psychological mentoring from our leaders. We weren't taught how important self-discipline, professional development and psychological training are. Our leaders failed to set an example for us of human success and career or professional development. They kept their psychological struggles private instead of using them to create positive mentoring opportunities.
It is important to not just instill leadership qualities in our young people, but also to give them the opportunity to see us model those leadership qualities. If we want our children to be hardworking and motivated, we need to set an example for them. We need to show them that it's possible to overcome laziness and lack of motivation. Just because we didn't get that as young people from our leaders doesn't mean we can't create them now.
Show them that you're willing to put in the hard work to achieve your goals.
Tell them about the challenges you've faced and overcame. Share your stories of failure and how you learned from them. Help them see that even though it's not always easy, doing hard things is worth it. Teach them the value of having coaches and focus on positive self-work.
Be honest about your struggles. I'm talking to you dads! Build their confidence by sharing your past failures and how they shaped your future. Teach them the difference between power and influence. Help them see that leadership is not a rank it's earned through service and humility.
Beware of gender norming
As a father of daughters, I have tried over the course of their lives not to limit my daughters interests based on gender norms. Research has shown that children as young as 6 months old show preferences for the colors and activities typically associated with their gender. But it's important to remember that these preferences are not set in stone. Just because your child shows a preference for certain colors or activities at a young age doesn't mean they will always feel that way.
In some cases, society, or even their peers, teach that leadership, team leadership, group / organization leadership, or sport performance is typically the focus of boys. This is thinking of the past and does not reflect the future of our country. The world is changing and leadership and coaching styles are becoming more and more diverse. We need to encourage our young people to pursue success and excellence.
Gender norms can be incredibly damaging, both to boys and girls. They can limit children's interests and aspirations, and they can lead to bullying and exclusion. So it's important that we help our children breakdown these barriers.
We need to be careful not to limit our children's leadership potential by ailing to expect them to lead. When mentoring young people teach them that leadership is not only for certain types of people. Anyone can be a leader, regardless of gender, race, or background. An effective leader or coach is just an example of a person achieving successful performance by training their mind and body to achieve the tasks of a successful person. Help them see that leadership is something that anyone can achieve if they're willing to put in the hard work.
There are many leadership styles and each leadership style is effective in different situations. The important thing is that our children learn how to adapt their leadership style to the situation they're in.
We need to encourage our young people to be adaptable and to always be learning. We need to teach and coach them that there is no one right way to do things. The world is constantly changing, and our children need to be prepared for that change. They need to be able to adapt their leadership style to whatever situation they find themselves in.
One way to do this is by exposing them to a wide range of activities. Don't force them to like things that they don't, but make sure they know that there's nothing wrong with liking things that are typically associated with the other gender.
It's also important to avoid using gendered language when talking to children. Instead of saying "boys don't cry" or "girls are supposed to be quiet," try to use neutral language. This will help children see that there are no rules about how they should behave, and that they can be whoever they want to be.
Leadership is something that young people should aspire to, regardless of gender. By encouraging our children to do hard things and by teaching them the value of leadership, we can help them develop their own leadership process. It will also improve the relationship they have with members of family and members of their friend group.
Ask your kids what the failed at today
We need to make sure our children feel comfortable talking about failure. Leadership is built from past failure and individual struggle. Normalize vulnerable conversations about failure, challenge and growth. We need to encourage them to be curious and to always be learning. The most important thing is that our children feel like they can come to us with anything. We need to be their biggest supporters, and we need to help them through the tough times.
Model vulnerability and encourage them to share feelings of frustration. Coach them to embrace differences and model honest and humble mentoring. When we open up about our own struggles, it gives our children permission to do the same.
Be there for them when they need you, and encourage them to keep pursuing their goals. Teach them that leadership is something that anyone can achieve and how being a leader will benefit them, any team or organization they decide to join and the world.
If they're willing to become a leader, they can change the direction of a particular focus or manage the success of a team or organization, but leadership is not easy, they will fail. No one is perfect, and leadership is something that takes time and practice. They need to embrace coaching and learn tasks associated with high performance. Human performance is taxing and requires good self care.
Make sure you are coaching them to own their failures and to use those failures to learn and grow. Achieving success in leadership will mean your failures on display for everyone to see, but that's okay. What's important is that you learn from your failures and use them to become a better leader.
Be there for your children when they fail, and help them pick themselves up. Help them see that leadership is something anyone can achieve if they're willing to put in the hard work. Make sure you are coaching them to celebrate failure because our best performance only comes after we have learned how to recover from our worst performance.
5 hard things you can do with your kids today that will build leadership skills
Teaching your kids to start their own small business or gig is a great example of a skill that will teach effective leadership.
Basic business skills like self-discipline, group training, personal development, and group training can build leaders. Even a lemonade stand will teach them an example of basic business performance. Coaching and influence to help them learn about leadership, self-awareness and resilience. It can also teach them important skills like financial literacy and customer service. Plus, it can help them earn a little extra money on the side.
Encourage them to take their schoolwork seriously.
Help them develop a work ethic, and make sure they understand the importance of doing their best in school. Enforce study times and withhold rewards until their homework is done. This will teach them about personal responsibility, time management, and leadership.
Finding a niche for kids in sports can be tough, but it's important.
Some kids avoid team-sports out of a lack of hand-eye coordination. They should still feel the exhilaration of competing and learn how to fail. There are many individual sports that can give them the same thrill as team sports. Consider golf, tennis or track. Teaching them that, in the end, they are only competing with themselves is a critical component of development in today's social media age.
If they are not athletic, don't worry. You can still encourage leadership skills by enrolling them in activities like theatre, choir or chess club. These types of activities help build social skills, leadership skills and creativity.
Ask your kids to teach you something
Leadership coaching can include teaching a skill. Ask them to show you how to use Instagram or TikTok, or something else they're good at. They'll be more likely to learn and remember the information if they have to teach it to someone else. Plus, it's a great way to build bonds on their terms. When you present and positive you are coaching them to be the same. It's important for parents to model this positive relationship development skill. Focus on their psychological need for connection and value. Even if you're learning a skill you already know.
Push them to improve, and don't over celebrate
Don't encourage them to be content with just doing what they're capable of – push them to strive for more. Challenge them to take on harder and harder tasks, and see how far and how fast they can evolve if they push themselves. Don't judge, or berate them but rather encourage them to make small improvements over time. This will help them understand that the key to leadership is not perfection, but continual and consistent growth. Sadly few people will ever learn what they are truly capable of because they never push past the point where things get uncomfortable.
Ultimately, we want young people to feel like they belong and are an important part of their community.
This can be done by encouraging them to do hard things, and helping them find their niche in life. When kids feel like they matter, they're more likely to stay out of trouble and become contributing members of society. What have you done lately to start a competitive fire in your kids?